Welcome to Cosmic Gossip
It began as a small shrine in a storeroom, just some saints bought from the bric-a-brac section of the local thrift store. Then Barbara added other items: tribal gods, masks from initiation ceremonies, musical instruments involving sacrificial rituals, and fetishes for invoking spirits, a vast and vague panorama of the cosmic world. Barbara called her collection Cosmic Entities because nothing else seemed to fit.
That day she’d photographed some newcomers. The flying skeleton had nipped her fingers; she said she’d return him for an in-store refund if he weren’t careful. “And you too,” she added to Kim Jong-un, who had been downright rude when it was his turn to be photographed.
“Can’t! I was an online purchase,” he retorted. He was worshipped as a god in North Korea and wasn’t used to opposition.
“Then I’ll donate you,” she said. He flew into a rage, so she placed him at the bottom of the Asian section, lit his candle, said she would forget to blow it out if he wasn’t good, and soon he’d be nothing but a heap of wax. That shut him up. She replaced the Didgeridoo and the Inuit Spirit Mask who had needed repairing, then left to go upstairs, saying she’d place the rest of them in their sections the next day, and blew out Kim’s candle. He didn’t thank her. It got dark, someone lit the candle again, and the newcomers began to look around. Those who could fly fluttered around the storeroom trying to find their sections; the rest stood around and started to chat.
Merlin the Wizard came up to Pope Francis and enthused about his most recent spells. “I can turn Presbyterians into frogs quick as a flash for a small payment.”
The Pope asked what sort of payment would that be, then remembered himself and hastily said he wasn’t interested and there were many good Presbyterians in the world.
The Atheist confronted Catholic Jesus. “You don’t exist. I mean as a Divinity.” Jesus said he felt kind of sorry for all unbelievers and looked at him pityingly. The Atheist was unnerved by the Look and thought fleetingly of prayer.
Makishi, Nyami-Nyami and Nok argued about who had the most power: an extinct god, a living effigy, or a supernatural snake. The Rainbow Serpent and the Fangool snake listened intently. The Fangool got uppity, flew to the top of the pillar and claimed sitting rights from the Buddha. “I bite!” and he made snapping sounds. The Buddha smiled serenely. “Pain isn’t real,” he said calmly but moved out of the Fangool’s range.
Qebehsenuef and Tutankhamen, two Ancient Egyptians, waited patiently for the dawn as they had for thousands of years. Isis flew over to them and complained that the Egyptian section was so small she couldn’t land.
Ti’i and the ghost ship had found the Oceanic section and were looking it over. Almost unnoticed, a pair of sandals was outside the storeroom doors, shifting slightly from time to time almost as if someone was inside them, someone invisible, someone whose image could never be shown but whose voice could be heard.
Gossip is what the Cosmic Entities had been having, though none would have admitted it. So here is Cosmic Gossip, and you’ll find out all about it, starting with Part One: A Private Space.
