Part Twenty
CROWDED CHRISTIANS

There was only one solution to the overcrowded Christian Section. Barbara pointed to the Rejects Box.
The Infanta of Prague was the first to understand the implications. “Franz Kafka was cured at my shrine in Prague,” he boasted.
“He was Jewish, and died young of tuberculosis,” said Barbara shortly, and his remark was precisely why she wanted to eliminate a few Saints. They lied about their miracles, and she’d already completed a story on them (Part Four: The Saints in Trouble). Barbara told the Infanta there was now a Liars’ Section (there wasn’t, but it was something to think about).
She’d given everyone Outer Glows about a week ago to stop their complaints of overcrowding, letting them choose their favorite colors. She made a memo not to allow it again, thinking of Faustina Kowalska’s flashy purple. And when, for more variety, she made the Hermit a Quaker and Saint Nicholas a Jehovah’s Witness, there were complaints about her shaky theological knowledge.
“You can’t make Nick a Jehovah’s Witness,” St. Patrick pointed out. “He’s the Spirit of Christmas, and those guys don’t celebrate Christmas. And Quakers are the Society of Friends, so a Hermit Quaker is a contradiction in terms.” Barbara was silent. Saint Patrick was right, but she didn’t like being opposed and felt sympathy for anyone in Heaven having to deal with the more knowledgeable Saints.
She ignored him. “We’ll take a vote on who is to leave,” she announced.
“All the newcomers into the Rejects Box,” shouted Our Lady of Fátima. She was one of the oldest inhabitants.
She looked up at Christ Pantocrator, but he refused to take part in the vote. (He had also, along with the ascetic Hermit, refused an Outer Glow.) All voted for putting the latest arrivals into the Rejects Box. Saint Devota of Monaco and Saint Marinus of Croatia, whom probably even the Pope hadn’t heard of, went in first, then two others, even more obscure. Barbara wondered if she should add a few more. She looked around and, for the first time, noticed the Atheist almost hidden behind St Patrick. The Prophet had smashed him, but he’d been mended, and not inexpertly.
“How did the Athiest get here?” she asked.
St. Patrick said a traveler had flown in with him and left him.
Barbara briefly wondered about the traveler before grabbing the Atheist and putting him in the Rejects Box with the Saints. There were faint cries as she shut the lid, but she thought it best to ignore them.