Part Nine
LEVITATION SUNDAY

Barbara had forgotten it was the Buddhist Levitation Sunday, and there wouldn’t be any cosmic gossip (at which Buddhists were surprisingly adept) because any form of communication was strictly forbidden when levitating. They didn’t return her wave of greeting, as that was also a form of communication. As usual, Dol Harubeang was doing his best to levitate but failing; he was from a far earlier religion than Buddhism, one that didn’t do levitation. Even more damning, he was made of stone. She put a coin in his hands to cheer him up (he was crying with frustration) and then saw—surely it was Kim Jong-un!—sitting on a lotus flower. He tended to give himself airs because he was one of the few entities not from a thrift store. She’d purchased him online in the form of a candle, as she had to have something from North Korea.
“You’re too heavy for that poor lotus!” Barbara said severely. “It can’t levitate with you on it. And you’re not a Buddhist. What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m levitating,” answered Kim Jong-un calmly.
A snort was heard from one of the Buddhists, and shortly after, Thephanon dropped to the ground with a bump.
“I didn’t know a snort was communicating,” she said to Barbara. “I’m grounded.” She limped over to Kim. “How is it that you didn’t fall down when you spoke?” She looked at him closely. “I see. You’ve got your fat ass on the lotus flower, and it’s the one trying to levitate. Anyway, Little Fat Guy With Big Hair, you’re not a god, just a candle.”
“I am a god because all the starving peasants — I mean loyal citizens — worship me as a god.”
“I’ll move him to Oceania and let some of their gods talk to him,” said Barbara to Thephanon, knowing that the talk would be brief with the gods there. She placed Kim Jong-un in the Oceanic section, where there was a short scuffle before his candle went out, and she heard him complaining loudly in Korean. However, it wouldn’t be long before he would be back home, especially if he could bribe a seat on the John Frum plane (now buzzing the levitating Buddhists), but at least the problem was over for the moment. She returned and said goodbye to Thephanon, seated glumly on the ground, nodded at the others, and thought she’d better check on the African section, whose gods had been ominously quiet for the last few days.