The Stories

When Barbara got tired of solving all of the disputes, she created a private space for herself, but it soon became crowded. She tells the Simargl, the Voodoo Doll, the Sufi Dervish and others to leave.

The Masks, placed outside the doors of the storeroom, meant they couldn’t attend Saturday Music Night. The Rabbit Mask and the Zulu Secret Mask are some of those who complain bitterly to Karen, the bossy Entry Angel.

Everyone has fun at Music Night; even the Saints tap their feet to the music of instruments like the sacred Teponaztli, the Tcha Tcha, the Slit Gong, and the Apache Rattle, but the arrival of a dreaded newcomer spoils it.

The Saints were upset about the defiant Atheist, now in their midst, but even St. Willebrord‘s threats and St. Jude‘s sneers were of no use. Luckily, help was on the way.

Catholic Jesus and Protestant Jesus enter. Catholic Jesus produces some terrifying apparitions, like Huur the Messenger of Death and the Nkondi Fetish, to scare the Atheist. He leaves, still defiant.

Barbara places the Koran on the Islamic Prayer Mat while she searches for Muhammad, but his image is forbidden. However, when the Atheist is smashed, a pair of sandals is close by and someone seems to be inside them. Perhaps the Prophet did it.

Thoth, an Ancient Egyptian god, says their section needs more space and demands part of Oceania. Barbara refuses, but clears an opening for a landing strip. She listens to the Dirawong, who says he is being bullied.

Barbara gets Father Damien, a carer priest, to speak to the fierce Hawai’ian gods about peace and goodwill. He agrees, mentions the John Frum movement but is soon making bets with Makini about who will arrive first on the landing strip.

The Buddhists are levitating, but Kim Jong-un spoils things by using a lotus flower to levitate. The Thephanom is angry at his cheating, so Barbara places Kim with the fierce Hawai’ian gods.

The African Entities have gone outside the storeroom. They are defiant, especially the dwarf god Bes. However, they hurry home when they see Sheila the cat knock over the Makishi Effigy.

The Demon Chaser, one of the Asian cherubs, pretends that Maneki-Neko is the ghost of Sheila Devil-Cat. The Cherubs demand payment for making her harmless. Barbara threatens to bring the living Sheila into the storeroom. The Cherubs apologize.

“Heathens!” says St. Jude, and forces the pre-Christian Entities to leave the storeroom. A Poltergeist blocks their re-entry. Barbara puts it in the Rejects Box after it kicks the sacred horse Sleipnir, and punishes the uppity St. Jude by placing him with the Charms.

The Africans arrive. Anansi the Spider God frightens smaller entities like Akuaba and the Fang Guardian. Barbara threatens him with the Rejects Box. Defiantly he opens it and lets the tribal gods escape.  She brings back St. Jude from Charms to subdue him.

The Ancient Middle East contained important gods like Marduk and Shams. Barbara thinks the Mermaid shouldn’t be in this section, but the sea creature insists that she’s from Ancient Assyria. Marduk says she brightens up the place, so Barbara lets her stay.

The American entities welcomed the skull guests at Halloween. They responded to American hospitality by eating the smaller ones. Barbara saved the Monster Slayer and the Shaman Petrograph, but all that was left of the Alligator was his head.

Christ the Redeemer tells Barbara she should have supervised the Mexican Day of the Dead because the Mexican Entities were now missing. Inti agrees. The Bacoo makes some silly puns, but eventually reveals that a Calavera had kidnapped them.

The Calavera is up on the ceiling. In its arms are the Mexican Entities. She’s harmless, only made of sugar candy, they tell Barbara, but when Ah Kin and the Quetzalcoatl start nibbling her face she crashes to the floor. The Mexicans are all sick from the sugar.

The Medallions put on a Gratitude play for Barbara as a thank-you for rescuing them from thrift stores. The Peacock Angel starts the play and the Memento Mori ends it. Barbara is properly grateful.

Mother Teresa pleads to be with the Christians instead of with “all these heathen gods,” like Durga and Saraswati. Barbara takes her to the Christians, but she finds it’s overcrowded and begs to go back to the Indian section.

Barbara tells the overcrowded Christian Section that some have to go, like the Infanta of Prague. Our Lady of Fatima, one of the oldest Entities, demanded that the newcomers leave. Barbara puts it to a vote. The newcomers lose and are placed in the Rejects Box.

Barbara is surprised to see the four Catholic Saints she’d put in the Rejects Box were now with the Buddhists. The Buddha welcomed them, the Garuda offered flying lessons, and the Philippine Death Mask proposed therapy sessions in the Laotian Spirit House.

The East Asian section was usually peaceful, but when she entered the Guardian Lion told Barbara he was worried about possible trouble and he’d sent the Phoenix Dragon to investigate.

Barbara visited the Island Faiths section, one of the prettiest sites with its fish mobiles, but instead of being grateful they were angry and resentful. The Hudoq Mask and Manasa Devi questioned her about her powers as a god.

Da Vinci’s Last Supper is a background to the Bible and Beyond section. Jesus explains that it is Satan who has been causing all the mischief.